Gawd im so tired now after returning from badminton camp. The whole thing basically screwed up though, with the games and stuff. We also went to stay overnight at Pasir Ris Park without any roof over our heads.
We walked to DownTownEast to buy Macs for the girls and the guys were crapping bout' the ghost stuff lol. We slept on those spider web thingys while ZH had a good night's sleep in a sleeping bag. We went to watch the sun rise but failed to do so.
We saw the sky starting to turn bright and stuff though.
Anyway the day began with us bus-ing back to school. We played around and i WAS optimistic bout' it. Just that i had to write something, thats all.
Mrs Koh saw me and told me 'isnt your appeal rejected whatever'. I was appalled to hear that and thought she was kidding or something. After a 10 minutes' wait, i finally got to meet Mrs Poh. Mrs Koh was there as well and they started to tell me the things they told my mum the other day, how i was allowed into combination C2 and blahblehblee.
Then they started to speak differently, with Mrs Poh telling me that in the email that was sent to her, it wsa not mentioned that i had visited Mrs Koh about this matter before. And so..? What does it matter?
They explained things to me and i listened patiently. Hoping that they were kidding with me and i wanted to leave the room as soon as i could. But slowly i learnt the fact that i was dropped back into combined science after serious considerations.
They said that they'd allow me to go up. And i'll fail my stuff. Then i'll drop and then i'll start half a year late in the combined class. And my self-eesteem would be hurt and whatever. And so why not i start the year in the combined science class so that there'll be more time available to push my weaker subjects.
Somemore, combined science pupils need NOT to stay back for the SPARS assesment thingy, which will take up plenty of time after school.
But hold on a second, the things above doesnt appeal to me. I will NOT fail my maths and stuff definitely if i get the chance to study in C2. I'd be motivated with the correct people and woots i'd be able to score for my o'lvls.
Anyway i have to tell you guys that, i made it into Anderson through appealing after falling short of a few marks after the PSLE examinations. And of course i promised them i'd work hard and prove myself and stuff. But i've broken that promise didnt i?
Slacking and playing all day long. Failing and failing maths. Even Mr Koh must have gone sick just looking at my scripts. So i just listened to them. And nodded though it wasnt my wish. I wished i had the confidence to tell them that i'd get an A for maths if given the chance to study in combined science.
Maths is chicken feed. It used to be, till i came into this school and slacked all day long. And i lost that so called confidence i had in primary school. Not i think it has accumulated to become a habit. Not studying and full of confidence bout' myself. It has let to my downfall, just like today.
What was most hurting was that Mrs Koh said that i made it through Anderson by the appeal channel. However do i want to continue this way? Using the appeal channel all the time when i miss something, just by that little teeny weeny bit. Why shouldnt i prove myself that i deserve somewhere in some place using my abilities.
But its all too late already isnt it? Missing the criteria for maths for a puny 1-2 marks. And thus i'd landed into the combined science class. Which would definitely NOT motivate me to study cause of the pupils there. Not all though (: Cause i know there're people there who're good and stuff. Same case as me, maths and science. Whatever.
But are my efforts going to fly away just infront of me this way? So easily? I dont know. SC says they'll want to help me in my FINAL application tomorrow. Which i dont think i'd go for it. After being rejected 81273213 times and my ego is so deflated now.
I'd have to agree to my new pm on msn. 'Promises are nothing but false hopes.' Cant blame many people though can i? I can only blame my pathetic self.
(PS thanks to my mum who encouraged me that combined isnt all over and told the principal that if i say i'd ace maths, i'd do it. And if i dont get into C2, i'd ace my maths for they two to see. We'll see)
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