Random
My topic for blogging today! My first attempt at a ten thousand word essay. Or so i guess. Okay i just realised my modem has restarted. Anyway, im blogging about random cause' im seriously bored and instead of whiling time away, i've decided to do this. (how many words already huh)

This holiday has been busy, and filled with many things. Happy and sad events all jumbled into one. And after being through this 'test' i would say, i agree that i've changed. I've become more mature and now i think more deeply.

Start of the holidays, when everyone else were enjoying their much deserved and needed break, i was dealing with the combination thing. I was placed into the combined science class, i was depressed at the start but cheered myself up that there was this slight chance of getting out of this mess i got myself into.

Other people who were placed in the class as well like, Effa etc. accepted it. I was shocked initially as they were not supposed to be in the class, just like me. But they were alright with it, and even optimistic about it as this happens for a reason.

And even after countless tries that failed, i was still bull headed and did not accept this as the truth. A few friends of mine helped too and in the process, they
were reprimanded as well and i was told to stop trying, and accept my fate. Something
i didnt believe in for the 13 years i've been living.

This passed and on came my birthday. SC, the group of friends as we were known as, hanged around with each other more often during this period and we were really close with each other you know. Everything was just going so well. Then suddenly more and more problems began to appear in my life.


I tried to blog in a different manner then, dont you think blogging on you going out, what you've dont in a day meaningless? And then i was faced with a situation that i was intolerant of. I bloged about it and yes people got upset, and i was as well. But i had to remove the post as i wasnt being fair to the person i was writing about.

More of such cases popped out and i blogged about my feelings on matters. I blogged about personal matters and vent out my anger. Oh wait isnt that what a blog is about? Apparently, people could decipher what i wrote and what made it worse was them thinking wildly and that again made me feel bad.

But after the blogging events, i always think through before i blog and more and more personal matters pilled up. SC became more distant as ever when more and more people went overseas.

And now my daily events are only playing soccer, spending money and yea, sleeping. And as i am wasting time away, the holiday has been getting shorter and shorter. With only two more weeks left, i have not bought my boobsbooks, new bag, shoes, stationery and misc.

I also have addicted myself to weird hobbies, like looking up to Wikipedia for totally random stuff and wasting my time off on msn appearing offline and chatting with people.

Anyway i dont think i have blogged one-tenth of what i am supposed to blog about.

But after blogging about the 'unfair' stuff, im going write about whats fair.
Me being in combined science is totally fair, because i dont deserve the spot in any double/triple science class as the people there have worked a ton harder than me and their results showed what is supposed to be there.

My personality sucks. Im slack, carefree, oversensitive(i think), bugged easily, not as cheerful and the list goes on. Chatting with my close friends have made me realise that. And if you happen to read this, PLEASE tell me my negative points. I'd like to change.

And so the Jun He in school next year would probably will more studious, not so playful and yeah kinda left out more. Cause the other people would have SPAR after school yeah? Another random comment of mine.

So yeah thats about it. -word counts- 721 only! So i have to buck up yeah, in search of a better topic! Okay now it's 740 words already :D

[edited] I shall make this post become a 1000 word essay!

When should someone give up? When he knows that he'll lose or when he finally sorts it out, that getting what he aims for is not the big prize. And you cant change the way a person thinks because you will be trying to conflict with what he believe in.  And in the end both will get hurt.  

And are you happy when you are happy? Or are you happy even though when things do not go your way but then you finally realise whats correct. Wow im really random ._.  

I shall end this post with :

Teddy Geiger - For you i will

Wondering the streets, in a world underneath it all
Nothing seems to be, nothing tastes as sweet
As what I can't have
Like you and the way that you're twisting your hair
round your finger
Tonight I'm not afraid to tell you
What I feel about you.

I'm gonna muster every ounce of confidence I have
and cannon ball into the water
I'm gonna muster every ounce of confidence I have
For you I will
For you I will

Forgive me if I stutter
From all of the clutter in my head
Cuz I could fall asleep in those eyes
Like a water bed
Do I seem familiar, i've crossed you in hallways
a thousand times, no more camouflage
I want to be exposed, and not be afraid to fall.

I'm gonna muster every ounce of confidence I have
And cannon ball into the water
I'm gonna muster every ounce of confidence I have
For you I will
You always want what you can't have
But I've got to try
I'm gonna muster every ounce of confidence I have
For you I will
For you I will
For you I will
For you

If I could dim the lights in the mall
And create a mood I would
Shout out your name so it echos in every room
I would

That's what I'd do, That's what I'd do to get through to you

I'm gonna muster every ounce of confidence I have
And cannon ball into the water
I'm gonna muster every ounce of confidence I have
For you I will
You always want what you can't have
But I've got to try
I'm gonna muster every ounce of confidence I have
For you I will
For you I will
For you I will
For you I will

1103 words (:

Labels: Random

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